After dad graduated from Harvard Business School, one of his early jobs was a director in the marketing department of Westinghouse appliance division. So he has a wealth of knowledge about things like hair dryers, coffee makers, toasters, washing machines, and how they were marketed towards consumers in the 1960’s. Think “Madmen”.
We’re sitting in the living room. Dad’s in his recliner and we’re having a conversation about repurposing unused appliances, i.e. finding alternative uses.
Dad (lowering the foot rest): You know, we have a lot of appliances around here we never use.
Randy (worried where this is going): Uh-huh.
Dad: Well it seems like kind of a waste. We should find other uses for them.
Randy (relieved he not thinking of holding a garage sale): Well, since we buy pre-ground coffee, I suppose could use the coffee grinder for milling spices.
Dad: Right!
Dad (remembering): When I was at Westinghouse, we made refrigerators that’d last a lifetime. Now they make ’em to wear out in 10. Fridge sales were low as they lasted forever. So at a brainstorming meeting, to pick up sales, I proposed we put fittings on the side that handles could be attached to.
Randy (unsure): Un-huh?
Dad: Well that way when the housewife dies, you can attach the handles and bury her in the fridge. Much cheaper than coffins, and it generates sales!
Randy (nodding diagonally): Sure.
Dad: And if you ran the cord up and power to the grave, no need for embalming costs. “Keep your loved one cool and fresh for eternity!”
Randy (frowning): Um… if you bury a running fridge, It’ll overheat! It’d be more like a crockpot!
Dad (shaking head): No-No, not if the cooling fins are attached to the back of the headstone.
Randy (hand over eyes, laughing): Ok, how about things that are a bit more practical, that we can do around here?
Dad (pointing up): Well, that fancy Japanese bidet you bought me could also be marketed as a water-pik, or “oral cleansing station.”
Randy (smirking): Yes, quite refreshing.
Dad (remembering): It would be particularly useful after a jag, on hangover mornings.
Randy: Dad, somehow I can’t see ya getting down on your hands and knees in front of a toilet.
Dad (nodding): Well no…, but younger folks could. “We keep both ends clean!”, or “We’re a means to your ends!”, or “We keep both ends from burning!”
Randy (smug): So, it seems now that you, ahem…, like the bidet?
Dad: Well, yes, now that I’ve gotten used to it.
Randy: Well, ok then.